Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Few Firsts

The First Day of Class... can be summed up in two words: culture shock. Before I go any further I need to put forth a disclaimer. I am not a mean person. Remember that.

Okay. The first day. Maybe I was pampered at the cross (ooh, could that preach?) or maybe I'm just too critical, but I wasn't mentally prepared for what I beheld as the room began to fill. The business casual attire was scarce. Whatever happened to the importance of a first impression? After the third sighting of exposed flesh, I began to wonder where some of their parents were - and then it hit me that they were the parents. Judging by appearances (yes, I know that's wrong) some were even grandparents or great-grandparents, and the span of ages puzzled me. Were the older ones there for a hobby? Did they have money to burn or did they really think they would be able to hang? My thought is that, if you announce that you need to utilize handicap parking to keep from walking long distances, a job on your feet in the kitchen may not be the best career choice. (Remember the disclaimer.)

Concerning the exposed flesh... If you raise your arm and your belly falls from beneath your shirt, you have a problem. If you lean forward to sign paperwork and display flesh of the plumber variety, you have a problem. If you do either of these things while I stand in line behind you, I have a problem.

And what's with sharing your personal information so freely with strangers? Is it necessary to include the fact that you're bipolar and on medication during your initial self introduction to the 40 other people in the room? I don't get it. I needed Miss Dorsey there so that we could give our running commentary on the session. It would have been like the glory days of old at the cross, and she would have deemed it a shebacle (That's urban for debacle.) for sure.

Don't get me wrong. Not everyone in attendance fit the above descriptions. There were normal folks too. It's just that the special ones stood out.

Later that afternoon the large group was divided based on programs of study, and the pastry arts group ended up with a total enrollment of 12 very normal people - including yours truly.

The First Test... was today. It was your typical food safety test involving FAT TOM, cooking temperatures and the like. We answered the 90 multiple choice questions online and received a pass/fail grade immediately thereafter. I passed with a 96, and that's pretty typical. My crazy eavesdropping skills tell me that only one person from our group had failed by the time I left. I think it must have been the lip ring that caused it.

The Worst First... was my first tardy which also took place today. Big surprise, right? I guess that's what happens when you blog in the middle of the night.

This brings me to the last first to discuss tonight - the first semi right cake balls. The balls, such as they were, were finished and served at a bridal shower earlier this evening. I'll post more information and pictures soon, but first some sleep. Class starts in less than eight hours.

Happy grubbing.


  1. OMG!! That is hysterical! Remember if you need a guinea pig, I will gladly volunteer. :)

  2. Oh and being honest isn't being mean.